14 May 2016

the ten commandments of being THB's mother.

1. Thou shalt not covet thy son's eyelashes.

2. Thou shalt always give him the last bite of the snack you're sharing - it doesn't matter if it's small, or if you have eaten more of the snack than he has.

3. Thou shalt not leave the bathroom door open, or else all of the q-tips will end up on the floor.

4. Thou shalt stifle your laughter when he takes a slapstick-like spill not on purpose.

5. Thou shalt be accepting of his fascination with birds, even though you're scared of them.

6. Thou shalt be accepting of him splashing in the bathtub, because at least he takes baths.

7. Thou probably shouldn't have bought a refrigerator with a bottom freezer because now the ice cream sandwiches are within his reach.

8. Thou shalt not bother becoming exasperated when he empties the bookshelves of their contents because it happens 50 times a day and isn't worth it.

9. Thou shalt not leave the bag/box of Lamar's donuts out on the counter where he can see unless you want to hear lots of whining and begging.

10. Thou shalt try not to cry when you catch a glimpse of what he'll look like in five years and end up being like, wait I thought I had a baby...?

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