09 May 2016

mother's day 2016.

Yesterday was Mother's Day.  Theo was all about his dad and gave me an estimated combined total of five minutes of attention yesterday.  And actually, it was pretty amazing!  (Poor Jon.)  But the little time that Theo and I did interact with each other was indeed nice.  He has become extremely generous with his kisses and hugs as of late.  Sometimes he gives them without me asking (and then quickly runs away to return to playing)!!  It's a special thing.  {Insert rambling overly-flowery language about how it won't always be like this I must cherish this time, yada yada}

I'm trying to think of something interesting to say about Mother's Day, but for some reason all I can think of are the lyrics to Dear Theodosia from Hamilton.  (I know It's Quiet Uptown is like, the tear-jerker of the whole musical, but Dear Theodosia gets me every time, it's so precious.)

Mother's Day just seems like a minefield for accidentally saying something offensive and then you've pissed off a woman and then good luck to you.  And I've never cared much for being recognized for doing anything, let alone for being a parent, so the day is just weird for me.  What do I say?  What do I not say?  Am I happy to be a parent?  Well, of course, but how do I let people know that it's not all I'm about and so I'm uncomfortable being praised for being willing to devote my whole life to my children?  How do I do that while also not offending the people who carry out that devotion cheerfully or uncheerfully?  How do I say that I prefer to call myself a parent instead of a mother because I don't think I fit into that word and all of the meanings people load it with?  What even is an actual, universally agreed-upon, literal definition of a mother these days?  And how do I politely let my family know that breakfast in bed is actually the worst and I'd rather we all have breakfast together at the table?

I more appreciate the existence of Mother's Day as it is a day for reflection.  I appreciate that there is a day set aside for people to think about (and recognize) the women in their lives who made a difference, made them stronger, made them into happy, well-functioning people.  And I appreciate the opportunity for women to think proudly on (and be celebrated for) their accomplishments, not the least of which is raising children.  Mother's Day is a good day.  Some like it more than others, some have huge expectations for it, some roll their eyes at antiquated norms, and some can't put away the "but the patriarchy!" soapboxes.  (And some silently pray that there's no breakfast in bed.)

But it is a good day.  And it was a good day.

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