22 January 2017

3 things.

1. Yesterday on The Washington Post's website I spotted an article with the following title:

"At the Women's March, it's the men who mattered most.  Here's why."

And you know what my response was?  WHAT THE FRESH HELL.
Today when I was back on the website I saw that the title had been changed.

"At the Women's March, the men mattered, too."

Frankly I don't see it as much of an improvement, and what I'm most tired of in all of the coverage of yesterday's historic events are the reminders that there were men there, too.

Don't forget all of the men there!
Wow, there were lots of men in attendance!
Way to go to the men who showed up!


Stop giving men special head pats and applause for doing something that they should have done anyway.  THEY ARE NOT THE ONES HERE WHO ARE SPECIAL.  We don't need to be worried that they feel included.  They can go one damn day without it being about them in any single way.

2. I suppose I should say that I did not march yesterday.  I know, hypocrite much?  I do believe that the Women's March was a good thing.  And I did want to go to Phoenix's march yesterday, but also a little part of me didn't want to.  There were lots of reasons to go, and lots of reasons not to go.

I suspect it's possible there might be a day in the future where I will have to atone for my physical absence at a protest yesterday.  I'm not sure which reason I'll give.

I had to choose between bringing my toddler or going by myself and I couldn't make that choice?
The overall goals of the March were a little confusing?
Large crowds sometimes kick my claustrophobia into high gear and I didn't want to have a panic attack in front of thousands?
I find the underlying issue of white women forgetting/ignoring women of color to be extremely grating and this protest reminded me of that?
It's less scary to own my feminist views in private than in public?
It could be any or all of those.

I didn't march yesterday, but this morning I stood before an incredible group of women and led a discussion on feelings of inadequacy and how to overcome them.  We talked about being "good enough," if being good enough is actually good enough, and what to do when we don't feel good enough.  I didn't mention to them that I wondered yesterday if I was a good enough feminist.  Because right before I was about to, someone offered the comment that it often appears women somehow know how to feel inadequate in a way that men just don't seem to.

I got to close that discussion by telling all of those women that they are indeed good enough, that they are never alone, and that they are capable of accomplishing truly amazing things.  Instead of joining women yesterday who already know they are good enough and deserve basic rights, I did what I could today to help women in those moments when they don't know those things.  I hope it made a difference.

3. If I recall correctly, I started this blog (or a blog??  i'm too scared to look back to confirm, haha) to become more comfortable with writing publicly.  I think at a certain point I became too comfortable, then I retreated, and now I'm doing my best to build back the habit while also maintaining some sense of dignity.

I used to read a handful of blogs, and most of them I can't even remember what they were about or if they were particularly inspiring.  But I remembered one this last week and the author's habit of writing 5 things weekly about whatever suited her fancy.  I've decided to try to work on such a habit, but allowing myself to stress a little less by only doing 3 things.  (I hope for little ranting, but for today I just really needed to get #1 off my chest.)

Writing in general somehow became very difficult for me to do a little while back.  Not just here, but elsewhere, too.  At the beginning of 2016 I was sure that I wanted to get familiar with writing again and set a simple goal: write just one story this year.

And I failed!  I few ideas, phrases, and images popped up here and there and I recorded them, but a story never emerged in writing.  I write short stories, you guys, and I couldn't even come up with one.  So for 2017 I recycled that goal.  Write just one story this year.

I'm hoping that this weekly exercise will somehow help.  Fingers crossed.

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