02 August 2011

helping the kids out of their coats, oh wait the babies haven't been born

sometime last week sam asked me what my one source of motivation is right now in my life.

and without any hesitation i told her that my kids are my motivation for just about everything.  i think about them a lot and about whether or not the things i do right now will help me be the kind of mom i really want my kids to have.

that being said, thinking about being a mom kind of freaks me out sometimes!  it seems like there are so many rules and you can't openly raise a kid the way i was raised without people wondering if you're an unfit parent.

for example, when the day comes that my little girl dresses herself without my help and doesn't look utterly ridiculous, i'm not allowed to tell her she looks pretty.

and, i have to worry about being deceptive should my kids be picky eaters.

or, i could just go the freak-asian-mom route and make picky eating not an option.

and then there are other things i wonder about.

like what if having kids totally changes my personality and all of a sudden i think lace headbands for babies and birthday parties when they turn a year old aren't dumb?

or what if they absolutely hate reading and writing?  that could be terrible.

sometimes i don't wonder, and i just hope for things.

i hope my kids are all born healthy.
i hope that none of my kids becomes one of those geniuses who goes to college as a teenager.
i hope my kids trust me.
i hope my kids don't get mad at me because i got a degree in something that doesn't make money, but makes me happy.
i hope they love me and their dad.
i hope they don't mind being my kids; because let's face it, being related and/or associated with me comes with certain stipulations.
i hope that by the time they're old enough for presents i'll have learned to wrap them.
i hope they'll let me tell them stories.

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